You Know You’re Single When…

…Your perfume runs out.

The realization that I would have to replenish my own supply of Tom Ford Black Orchid left me feeling mildly depressed this morning. Up there with lingerie, it is not a purchase one should ever have to make for oneself. That’s what boyfriends are for. You’re never going to be unhappy when they come home with a little bottle of Chanel or a La Perla surprise.

These are what are known as safe gifts – like flowers and chocolate, just so much better. I’m quite happy to buy myself flowers and chocolate, they too are essentials but one tier down on the Intimate Gift Scale, making them acceptable for self-purchase. Having to doll out for a Myla number or Coco Mademoiselle on the other hand is the ultimate reality slap. I’ve done it of course. How else to stay sweet smelling when you can’t be sure when the next gift giver will be making an entrance. Sigh.

Not very feminist minded of me of course. As an emancipated woman I should delight in the purchasing power my equal salary affords me. But I don’t. Luckily, I have a surrogate boyfriend. My sister has always intuitively understood that ladies don’t buy their own fragrance or lace and has kept me in supply when boyfriendless i.e. most of my life.  Thanks sister! You’ve made being single a happy place to be.

If you’re reading this and you have a sister, ask yourself: Is her perfume running low.

I leave you with one final profound thought:

Remember: Guys like to smell nice too.

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